First of all, I shall list out three reasons why I am making this blog post, and that on a redundant topic like dogs, when of course, blogs everywhere in and around the solar system are currently raving about Interstellar. Here are those three golden points:
1) I haven't made an update in quite a while. My last post was when Cooper lifted off from earth and he is now playing with his children inside that weird capsule.
2) I need to write something bullshit, or rather, dog shit. My last few posts have had too much angst and politics.
3) I asked advice from a close friend of mine to write about buffaloes. She gave me ideas, took them back, and asked me to write about dogs, while she writes about buffaloes. So, I'm letting loose these pack of dogs on her. Don't worry. They are nice dogs. They are harmless.
Sorry, I digressed. We were talking about? Yes, dogs. The creatures to whom we extend our innate racism towards (more people have a white Labrador as a pet than a black one). The creatures towards which some of the fractions of human beings in our society enjoy throwing rocks towards, which, apparently, is a display of machismo (how?). The creatures who smell cars, tyres and lamp posts before relieving themselves . This in turn prompted Renault to spend millions and proclaim on television, "No. Dogs pee on Maruti Suzuki's cars. Not on our cars". Which is in fact fair. Maruti's cars should be peed upon. Yes, the owners of Maruti cars, I mean the insult.
I digressed again. So in our subcontinent, and apparently in the Arab world as well, 'dog' is an insult. An unbearable insult.
To look at our country, why would you look beyond Veeru and his expletive-laden rant after Gabbar's henchmen put a few bullets through Jai? Inexplicably, that rant contained 'kutte', which is also part of any Bombay or Delhi tongue before bullets are exchanged. Here's my question: why would you feel insulted at that? If I was Gabbar, I would be all "Aww, such a cutie pie of a master. Now get rid of that tangewaali whom you screw in film and in real life and get me some Pedigree, will you? I promise I won't take a dump on your shoe. ^_^ ".
So much for our land. Now let's board a flight full of Malayalis to the Gulf. Incidentally, the stock cuss word for Malayalis is 'patti'. It means, yes you guessed correct, dog.
Let's accept it, we didn't know much about the Arab world before one Osama bin Laden made some videos which more or less resembled the grainy porn that was smuggled into India by Dawood and company (I HAVE NEVER WATCHED THEM). One curious observation that I made (I'm famous for recording curious observations) was that in one of those videos, Osama used the word 'dog' at least a dozen times, the length of the video being no more than a couple of minutes. He described Indians as dogs, Americans as dogs, Christians as dogs, secular Muslims as dogs, and last but not the least, Jews as infidels and dogs (Jews always have the best Arabic reserved for themselves). I shall also not be seen as anti-Semitic.
Oh Osama (classify this as rhetoric since you have been shot in the head and buried at sea), have you seen a pure breed Labrador? Or a Golden Retriever? A Dalmatian? At the very least a Beagle? Or spare a thought for the Bassett Hound?
Yes, if your Arab brethren need to insult humans by equating them with dogs, maybe you will like to record these henceforth:
-"Indians, you idol-worshipping cocker spaniels!"
Or, "Americans, you war-mongering Alsatians!"
Maybe, "Secular Muslims, you traitors, you pieces of Dachshund shit!"
And if you are hell bent on Jews, how about, "Jews, you land and money grabbing infidel loud descendants of the Spitz!"
Now here's a strange situation. Normally, the end of my articles would leave the same effect as landing a black eye. But dogs are too cute to write hard-hitting conclusions about. So, here. Till then, good luck cuddling him.
1) I haven't made an update in quite a while. My last post was when Cooper lifted off from earth and he is now playing with his children inside that weird capsule.
2) I need to write something bullshit, or rather, dog shit. My last few posts have had too much angst and politics.
3) I asked advice from a close friend of mine to write about buffaloes. She gave me ideas, took them back, and asked me to write about dogs, while she writes about buffaloes. So, I'm letting loose these pack of dogs on her. Don't worry. They are nice dogs. They are harmless.
Sorry, I digressed. We were talking about? Yes, dogs. The creatures to whom we extend our innate racism towards (more people have a white Labrador as a pet than a black one). The creatures towards which some of the fractions of human beings in our society enjoy throwing rocks towards, which, apparently, is a display of machismo (how?). The creatures who smell cars, tyres and lamp posts before relieving themselves . This in turn prompted Renault to spend millions and proclaim on television, "No. Dogs pee on Maruti Suzuki's cars. Not on our cars". Which is in fact fair. Maruti's cars should be peed upon. Yes, the owners of Maruti cars, I mean the insult.
I digressed again. So in our subcontinent, and apparently in the Arab world as well, 'dog' is an insult. An unbearable insult.
To look at our country, why would you look beyond Veeru and his expletive-laden rant after Gabbar's henchmen put a few bullets through Jai? Inexplicably, that rant contained 'kutte', which is also part of any Bombay or Delhi tongue before bullets are exchanged. Here's my question: why would you feel insulted at that? If I was Gabbar, I would be all "Aww, such a cutie pie of a master. Now get rid of that tangewaali whom you screw in film and in real life and get me some Pedigree, will you? I promise I won't take a dump on your shoe. ^_^ ".
So much for our land. Now let's board a flight full of Malayalis to the Gulf. Incidentally, the stock cuss word for Malayalis is 'patti'. It means, yes you guessed correct, dog.
Let's accept it, we didn't know much about the Arab world before one Osama bin Laden made some videos which more or less resembled the grainy porn that was smuggled into India by Dawood and company (I HAVE NEVER WATCHED THEM). One curious observation that I made (I'm famous for recording curious observations) was that in one of those videos, Osama used the word 'dog' at least a dozen times, the length of the video being no more than a couple of minutes. He described Indians as dogs, Americans as dogs, Christians as dogs, secular Muslims as dogs, and last but not the least, Jews as infidels and dogs (Jews always have the best Arabic reserved for themselves). I shall also not be seen as anti-Semitic.
Oh Osama (classify this as rhetoric since you have been shot in the head and buried at sea), have you seen a pure breed Labrador? Or a Golden Retriever? A Dalmatian? At the very least a Beagle? Or spare a thought for the Bassett Hound?
Yes, if your Arab brethren need to insult humans by equating them with dogs, maybe you will like to record these henceforth:
-"Indians, you idol-worshipping cocker spaniels!"
Or, "Americans, you war-mongering Alsatians!"
Maybe, "Secular Muslims, you traitors, you pieces of Dachshund shit!"
And if you are hell bent on Jews, how about, "Jews, you land and money grabbing infidel loud descendants of the Spitz!"
Now here's a strange situation. Normally, the end of my articles would leave the same effect as landing a black eye. But dogs are too cute to write hard-hitting conclusions about. So, here. Till then, good luck cuddling him.
